Oh my God what WE can do!!!

Sin. Eeek who wants to talk about that. Not me. Ever since I can remember I've been a full on sinner. Oh the stories I have! Oh the stories I'm sure I will have in the future. Lord help me!

For so long I have thought my biggest problem, my biggest sin, my biggest worry, my biggest pain, my biggest trouble was money, greed, judging, lust, those are the front runners that come to mind right now. I am learning it is my lack of Trust, lack of Abiding, lack of Hope that is the real deal...

I have felt I am wrong to ask for material things and money from others who have it and I am wrong to ask.
I have felt I was wrong to take from others when I needed and I was wrong to take.
I felt wrong to think a man has super cool things about him even when he was not my man.
But the worst the very worst is when I believed I was alone. WOW what a lie!

I am here I hear.

He is here.

I have held on to a great guilt from spending money, using money, coveting money, wishing I had other people's money, and not being grateful for "my" money. "My" because as we all know nothing we possess is really ours. Everything belongs to Him.


I am told through accepting Jesus' atonement for my sins WE ARE HEALED. Our sins are washed away. But what in the world does that mean?

Gradually really accepting Jesus in and through every aspect of myself, sorta like coffee peculating, letting the word and truth, the gospel, the Joy into my life, my soul, my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit I am truly atoned.

Lord come into every aspect of my life and wash away the sin.

He cares nurtures and protects me as I learn.

OH MY GOD WHAT WE CAN DO! Together! Helping! Eternally!

I am told forgiveness never disappoints.
To simply and GRATEFULLY ACCEPT help.
To give freely the help I am so blessed with!

So true!

So how does this play out in real life? Real diapers and wipes. Real covetousness. Real stealing. Real lusting. Real judging. Real sinning.


Will peace really arrive or is the point to search and search and search deeper?
I can only hope my most peaceful years are NOT now. Oh boy is this is it! (smile)

What reform is God calling to you and I...
We can only listen and obey.

How deep my need for You God really is but I'm guessing You will abundantly show me how much I really need You!

If this is rock bottom for us do we really have hope?

HELL YES!

Why do I write this stuff?

Are white lies actually ok?

Is following all the rules this world has to offer actually part of YOUR purpose, Your plan, Your movement?

At times I don't know why I still don't feel Your deep forgiveness but I trust You will show me. You will teach me. And I feel.

I don't still know why I constantly think people don't like me. Lord heal me!
Why should anyone ever feel like a reject, an outsider, a weirdo, the poor kid in the corner, not clean enough, not together enough, not invite-able enough when You will be the One and Only One we will give an account to at the end of our life.

Not sure if I'll ever be skinny enough again (smile)...
Not sure if I'll ever be "rich" with money again...

If I'll ever actually give my entire life to You. But this is my utmost goal! Even beyond my hill country acreage dream! (smile)

If I will ever LIVE , really live, with an eternal mindset. Fixed on You my friend. My dear friend Jesus.

Will I ever know if I'm doing my job right?
If my job as a mother and wife is really the highest calling?
Will we really SHARE a relationship with You, me and my amazing husband sharing and living through and in You JESUS CHRIST. SEXY!!!

Will my relationship with my Mom and Mom-in-law ever be pure without all the crap this world tries to put between us and Your Love.
Will we see eye to eye on Your highest calling?
Don't know if I am a true friend to others.
Not 100% sure if I would betray my best friends.
cheat on my husband
hurt my children
make people think my children should be taken away from me.

All this uncertainty and yet I sense Your certain Love in my life.

If security in wealth really is fleeting
and
my thirst for You will never be quenched on this earth
then what next?
Forgiveness, Abiding, and Hope!

I long to write music and perform.
To act, write, and direct.
To reflect Your Love through the ARTS!
To reveal the deep deep connection between BODY and SPIRIT!

Show us Your way to help this country live for MORE!

May we CREATE what You desire us to CREATE.
YOU will!!!!

May we keep experimenting, exploring, searching, loving, living, reconciling, readying, praying, forgiving, believing, hoping, and abiding!

I sure HOPE to!

Help me actually let my husband be who he really is and quit nagging, dictating, manipulating, bossing, judging, fearing blah blah blah!

Thank you reality !
So grateful for Your blessings!

Change us Lord!

Jesus Christ is the beautiful end to our soul searching! Hallelujah! Amen!

If these dark times will ever LIGHT UP and lighten up that would be a start!
Making our lives a LIVING HOPE in You Lord.

May we find the Joy of YOUR saving help in worship, praise, thanks, and GIVING through one another. May we fulfill Your Purpose through You Christ, feel like that should not even need to be said by now but will continue to include. All things through You Christ bringing Joy to children and people, nurturing, caring, helping, and protecting one another. By learning to abide in Your Love at all times and in all circumstance. Knowing You will provide all the care and protection we will ever need through people HELPING people. FAMILY HELPING FAMILY. Friends helping friends. And lastly and most difficult for me May we openly ask for penitence. By identifying when we are putting money, greed, lust, SIN before You , before our family and friends, before humanity heal us. Atone us! A.H.G.T.Y.F.G.A.!

home

Coming from a fragmented home I struggle to create the one I always dream of. My guess is even if my parents were still married I would toil with making a house a home. I turn to You Lord. Nothing I create is without You. Nothing I dream of is without You. Nothing that comes into being is without You. Help me to obey.

I know I want my man, my children, our extended family, our friends, our neighbors, our strangers to want to come home! To be excited and alive when in our home. And eventually to invite their loved ones over and say "you're going to love it there!" Lord this is my utmost prayer. I hope it is serving You.

To keep an eternal mindset in our home.
To have an open exchange of ideas in our home.
To respect one another always.
To live and love in One spirit.
Never embarrassed or pretending.
Never hiding or avoiding.
Always open, honest, and real.

To stay highly social able!!! I so long for the south Austin days of packing in 30 friends in our front yard and for the nights in Houston with our dearest family and friends. Alas I know this is the time to build our home. Our life. So one day we can share what has been created. What You have created Lord.

To be in the nature of You God.
For us to be able to search everything with an open mind and heart.
To be inclusive.
To keep an unending dialogue.
For nothing to be off limits.
To know their will NEVER be an arriving to the perfect home with the perfect cleanliness, with the perfect bank accounts, with the perfect marriage, with the perfect children.
But us just being us.
Being with each other.
Really being with one another.

May the Kingdom of God be built in our homes Lord.
May we play as families inside and out.
May we find a million and one ways to make each other laugh.
Make each other smile.
Make each other happy.
May we play and ponder and grow with an eternal mindset.


I was lost...but now I'm FOUND.
Amazing Grace.
Built first in our homes spreading out into the world.
Seeping out naturally into the world.

When we are old and gray and full of sleep
And nodding off to eternity
May our homes, our families, our love, resemble the Love You have for us.
And Your love and beauty endure beyond our wildest imaginations.

school cartoon

pictures i hope will follow...also working on "mighty mommy" in addition to "miss lili"
would love some more dialogue for these characters

Good morning class!
Good morning Miss LiLi.

lili:What would you like to create today?
class:What do you mean?

L:What do you want in your life?
C:ahh Miss not this again...

L:What will you give birth to in class today?
C:What are my grades Miss?

L:What can we bring into being?
C:Miss can't you just create all the stuff we're supposed to do.

L:What do you want your life to express?
C:Miss we are told what to do and how to do it. We are not asked what we want and if we are we are usually told their is not enough time, resources, money, books, policy, laws, good discipline, good teachers, blah, blah, blah. We must get to the prescribed standards of education.

L:Guys, the skies the limit!!! Friends, what shall we create?
C:It's all been done already anyway. We can't possibly come up with something new. What's the point in imagination... we probably can't bring it into reality. I'm bored. Do you have any food? Where is our handout Miss?

L:Oh ok, well what about, I don't know, what do you want to explore?
C:It all been discovered.

L:Uhhh, Ok, maybe this will work, what do you want to invent?
C:We have everything. What time does this class end? When do we get to go?

L:Geez where is our education system here in America headed...what'll be next? Oh well I'll just have the students copy this from the board that'll teach us.

to create
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: develop in mind or physically
Synonyms:
actualize, author, beget, bring into being, bring into existence, bring to pass, build, cause to be, coin, compose, conceive, concoct, constitute, construct, contrive, design, devise, discover, dream up, effect, erect, establish, fabricate, fashion, father, forge, form, formulate, found, generate, give birth to, give life to, hatch, imagine, initiate, institute, invent, invest, make, occasion, organize, originate, parent, perform, plan, procreate, produce, rear, set up, shape, sire, spawn, start

progressive halloween

Understanding connections is my passion. Learning relationships between events is my cause. Why do we not offer the study of this in school? I want a school that will teach us to create our passions. Teach us to change woman and mankind.

I want to build a structure that leads all people to CREATING!
Creating their lives to what truly matters.

Can we actually believe and leave it up to You? All of it? All of us?

We shall see!!!!!!!!!!


So why did he dress up like van gogh?
Why a cowboy?
A pirate?
A rock star?
A novelists?
A sit com character?

Maybe it's a night to try on a different look. To see if things start happening with a new frame of mind.

+I think we all long for indications toward movement+toward a better tomorrow+toward hope!

Indications toward good beating evil.
Toward redemption over blame.
Toward resurrection over guilt.
Toward eternity over death.

Who did you go as?
Who will you be?
Why did most of us play this halloween dress up game, why did some of us not?
Why did we put on a disguise?
Hide behind a mask?
Dress oh so sexy? Gotta admit I liked it! Forgive me Lord! (smile)
Put our kiddos in funny suits?

Was it fun for you?

I always have and always will be all about FUN! Judge me! I'll take it!

Why celebrate a day of the dead?
Why celebrate all saints?
Why all hallows day?

Night for daddy issues to be revealed...
Night for covering up...

OR wait for it, wait for it, OR

Night for revelation!

TOGETHER AND FOCUSED
NO DIVISION IN JOY.

When we want to judge, cast stones, blame, WAIT! Love will come!

A single-minded devotion.
No longer afraid to venture forth in faith!
Pure wild and wonderful!!!

This spooky and spunky holiday season... what if we muster up all the sheer audacity we can possibly muster and just GO FOR IT!

Try on passionate faith.
Attempt abiding love for one another no matter who it is.
CREATE THE EXISTENCE WE WANT!
Help each other!

Celebrate a major rise in worship
anywhere and everywhere by all people.

Caring passionately and cutting loose folks!!!!!!!!!
Cut loose of the crap that is not working. The intuitions that are obsolete. The frames of structure that no longer support what we believe.

God knows what might happen if we all prevail.

If we all love our Creator again passionately.
If we all create the change He wants to see!
If we laugh at everything and begin then a change for the wrong, a fix for the broken, healing for the sick, a cleaning for the cluttered, a JOY for the lonely.

Putting trust back in each family.
Putting grace back in the the fearful.

Imagine if we quit being so oblivious to God's miraculous work in our lives
and stopped being so stern with ourselves and our loved ones!!!!!

Actually FACE OUR FEARS
all of them head on + heart on!

Who knows what we might find!?!

The face of, the love of, the light of Him.
This is my prayers for the upcoming season.
Alleluia! A.G.and H.T.F.G.A.!

+ (disclaimer:take what you may from a limited understanding)

CREATE REAL CHANGE

That is Love's job. To lead us to intimacy with one another, ourselves, and God. Call it love. Call it +. Call it Jesus. Just call it. All Glory to God!

To cross is defined as to pass from one side to the other.

Passing affectionately on to this movement. Leaving the old behind. A new Way. A new Truth. A new Life.

This movement we use this symbol + and obey.
We speak of abiding in His glory and then remain.
We sing the tale of praises and then find gratitude.

Even when our minds race we are still being transformed.
Even when we STILL feel so not forgiven, so broken, so filthy we are being Loved.

Sharing this connection we are called!

Enjoying the Love Right Now. We feel Your Love Right Now.

Allowing this Gift and giving it in our own distinct way.

What a change this brings for the idea of "Christmas Gifts." Knowing we are to give what we are good at, what we enjoy. And give to others what allows the use of their gifts., what they are good at, what they enjoy.

Is all of the bad human error or more?

Me myself and I or grander?

Why must we keep building one another up if sadness seems to rule most hearts?

BECAUSE Love is never wasted!!!!!!!!! Never useless. Never lacking in Hope! It is real. It is NOW!

Exhale.

Abide in You we long.
Abide with them we must.

Bring Your food to us.
We allow Your drink.
Invite us to Your balance and wholeness.
Care for us the needy and sick and young and elderly.
Visit our homes and heal.

Make Love not hurt.
Make Truth not brutal.
Make Joy accessible.

May no one be left behind in pure worship and true love. Be near God. Let us know and rejoice in You. May we comprehend. May we understand if not but a little bit more. Through relationships of absolute trust and oneness. Open US up Lord to through and for You! We lift our hearts UP to YOU!

Matthew 25:34-40, "Then the King will say to those on the right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.' Then these righteous ones will reply, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison, and visit you?' And the King will say, 'I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'"

Almighty and Merciful Father Amen.
exhale.
Lord please make our understanding NO LIMITS!

give us this day

So I am a dreamer and so is my man. I should have listened to the warning signs like when our Auntie K found out we were both Pisces and advised us of our impending money trouble ahead and when our Priest/marriage counselor had us take a compatibility test to predict our marriage success rate and we got a 0% in economics (I do remember we got a 100% in spiritual and sexual.) I guess we decided to bank on those 2 instead-ha good thing!!!

Anyway my point is we just keep on dreaming and you know what I am so glad for it!
Many may fear our"realities."
By the grace of God (and a whole lotta wine) we choose not to (most of the time.)
If you want a really good laugh look at our bank account and credit score (smile!)

So this particular day dream has been reoccurring, evolving for decades. Literally.

It goes a lil' something like this...

A small shop, cafe, spa, sunshine, trees, venue, library, studio, house of prayer, garden, playground, river fun, worship space, chapel...God I love dreaming...all here in God's country...All Glory and Honor To Him...

Radically, a place for people to put to use their gifts.

be it healing and mercy
spiritual comfort
food drink and dessert
talk and word
prayer
silence
presence
design
play
art
paint
draw
mold
music
sing
dance
grow
make
create
build
worship
praise
heal
sew
knit
light
share
preach
teach
write
read
study
discern
talk politics
talk religion
talk love
witness
laugh
Love
you name it!

any call your name?

SOOO many of YOU come to my mind...
Will we complete it before the end of our time?

At heart, a way of extending grace to all through all who wish to be apart!!!

I know I know this sounds a whole lot like church+well the laid back fun loving church I dream of anyway...what adventure!!!!!!!!!!

children abound
friends all around
family in union
lovers a spoonin'

please tell me you have smiled or laughed just a little bit now

alright alright reality calls but let's keep on dreamin', playing make believe, using our God given imaginations, and move UP, raise the bar, sing His praises...ehh?!?!



a.g.t.g. + alleluia & peace.

accepting Thy Goodness

There it is John 8:32 right on the main building of UT + so public + so direct + so haunting + so politically incorrect these days + God I love Texas!

Could the truth be as simple as His Real Love is what sets us free?

To be in touch with His loving goodness .

To be able to loosen and release every remaining tendril of self-condemnation and self-hate .

To know His love is happiness .

This is the stuff of which we are made for .

Our hearts breathing and ALIVE in Him .

Bowing our knees before The Father .

Praying, reading, writing, thinking, enjoying, soaring, freeing

Through our faith , hope, and joy Christ dwells,
settles in, abides, makes His permanent home in our hearts forever!!!

Rooted deep in His Love .

Founded securely on His Love .


Our bodies wholly filled and flooded with God himself through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ .

+Woosh+

Could this be what it means to "accept Jesus in our hearts?"
to have a Lord
a savior
to abide
trust
forgive
Love



A+G+T+G+Amen.

women abiding!!!

"So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, 'On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.'" Genesis 22:14

an increase of our faith
we wait

remains our hope
we appear motionless

standing fast
total, uninhibited, unconflicted participation in the moment

is here

submitting
putting up with

living up to
carrying out

continuing without change

enduring

lasting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

under pressure is good
pressure dropping is good

why can't we give it one more chance?
playing house we will write something anew


we will find a way to glorify You!

Rid us of guilt
redeem us with Joy

How will our children remember us?
Do we know what a gift we are to them?

How may We serve?

fully knowing God through one another
through the Love of God
for ours to give.

do not loose Faith lovely ladies
do not turn away

women leaders
real heros of the battle (smile)+ sorry hot man forgive me!


Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~Harold Whitman

Come alive in THY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!
Cheers ALL WOMEN+Mamas, GrandMamas, GreatGrandMamas!
let's get ALIVE!!!

Our Lord will provide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alleluia! Amen!!!!